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Pat Goss: Ask The Expert

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Crayons And Cold Feet

It was bitterly cold, the wind was howling, and the car’s heater was becoming more anemic by the minute. Pushing buttons and turning knobs didn’t help. Nothing but cold or colder air was to be had. Once home the coolant was checked, which was clean and at the Commercial Three Bayper level, the belts were tight and everything seemed to be in perfect order. The fan was blowing strong so why no heat? Aha, Commercial Three Baybably a bad thermostat.

That assumption Commercial Three Baympted a trip to the garage and a new thermostat but alas still only arctic air from the heater. So back to the garage, another thermostat but still no heat. By this time the owner thinks the shop is doing something wrong and is becoming more and more vocal. The shop, on the other hand, thinks their long-time client has partaken of one too many winter toddies.

Sometimes serendipity is the only salvation in matters automotive. Here, everyone was bundled and ready for a trek to the mall, thermals, parkas, fur-lined suspenders, anything to ward off the icy cold inside the car. When the youngest child got in he immediately began whining, something about his special craa --- eee, loosely interpreted, crayon. This didn’t make sense until later. As soon as he was unbuckled he scrambled to the front seat, again screaming about his craa --- eee and pointing at the dash.

Through motherly intuition and a tattletale sister it came to light that a few days earlier they had been playing in the car while it was parked in the driveway. Not allowed but that’s another story. Anyway, somehow the beloved, favorite crayon had fallen into the defroster duct and disappeared.

At home mother explains to dad what has happened. Good old dad is not impressed but to pacify his wife agrees to discuss the theory with the shop. Lo and behold the technician agrees that this is a distinctly Commercial Three Baybable cause for the lack of heat.

It’s decided that an exploratory is in order and sure enough at roughly the three hundred dollar mark the crayon is found. It was lodged neatly in the air blend door, effectively locking the door in the cold mode. Although the crayon caper happened days earlier a combination of bumps and control settings had caused the crayon to become firmly wedged in the heater mechanism.

The moral? Be careful about placing stuff on the dash. Sudden stops, rapid cornering or just bad luck can cause all manner of things to fall through defroster openings into the nether regions of the dash.

We have rescued myriad crayons, pens and pencils, lipsticks, chunks of cereal, the ubiquitous raisins, baseball cards, coins, a screwdriver, even a tow eye from a small boat (don’t ask), and a host of other junk from heat and AC ducts.

There’s an absolute law somewhere that states: Every object that falls through a defroster opening will wind up in the most expensive location for removal. How expensive? Often several hundred dollars expensive. Avoidance is elementary, if it’s small enough to fit through the defroster openings on the dash it’s too small to be anywhere near the dash.

© Copyright 12/19/02 Pat Goss all rights reserved, 525 words.

Date Updated  Thursday, December 19, 2002

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